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Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in The Mostly Hellsing Anti-Mary Sue Community's LiveJournal:

Friday, September 2nd, 2005
1:30 pm
Newbie. XD

Needless to say, I'm new and this is my first review on here. Let me just say, I had the hardest time reading this without killing my self. Yet I some how accomplished it, so here it is.

Story Or Series Title: Princess of Death
Fandom: Hellsing. (Big surpise, eh?)
Culprit Author's Name: kitsunemajin

Full Name (plus titles if any): Kiora Dornez aka Kia.
Full Species(es): Human
Hair Color (include adjectives): Does not say.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Does not say.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None I picked up reading...
Special Possessions (if any): Walter’s wires. -_-‘

Annoying Origin: Walter’s daughter... Wait, WTF!? Walter is 1') Old, 2') A vampire now in manga. 3') Single.  Yet somehow he has achieved the impossible, and is now with child. Even more annoying is the fact that the author never mentions the mother. At all. *Insert gun shot here*

Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Daughter of Walter, Partner of Alucard, Works for Integra and... Well, Seras’s has seemingly evaporated in to thin air in this story, thus she has no relationship with her.

Annoying Special Abilities: Ability to annoy (not to mention confuse) me to the point of wanting to stab my self in the eyes, and ability to possibly have Hirano commit suicide if he ever read this. You know. The usual with bad fics. >.<

Other Annoying Traits: She can fight like whoa. Obvious attempt to re-create Young Walter Female version.

Side Note: Reading the story over, I am guessing that this is AU, where Walter has a child long before Seras, Pip, or any Anime/Hellsing events. This I am guessing from the fact that in the fiction, Integra is only 15 years old, which is mainly the only clue (Inless you count the absence of Seras, which can be for other reasons.) Yet the author does NOT inform readers of this, confusing the heck out of the average reader. I might suggest to the author to put AU in the Summery. It would help alot. Thnxs, Dahlin.

Short Taste of the horror.Collapse )

Current Mood: amused

Monday, June 27th, 2005
9:51 pm
Err... hello.

I'm new here. So... hi. I saw that no one seemed to have reported this... ((I hope. Unless it's one of those magical deleted-comes back to life fics.)) So here goes my first Sue-reporting... ever...


Story Or Series Title: Integra's daughter
Culprit Author's Name: bloodrose666 ((Apparently she's written sue fics in the past??))

Full Name (plus titles if any): Integral Hellsing and Angelina Van Hellsing
Full Species(es): Human and a dhampir... thing.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Integral: see manga/anime Angelina: "long black as night hair"
Eye Color (include adjectives): Integral: see manga/anime Angelina: Couldn't find it... but then I only skimmed it.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: N/A
Special Possessions (if any): Integral: Hellsing estate... Alucard, "strange robes and a large fancy staff." Angelina: Tight black tanktop, black baggy jeans, black and red rollerblades... Alucard's ba- love. Oh, and a crappy motorcycle...

Annoying Origin: sappy!Integral: author's mind Angelina: sappy!Integral
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: sappy!Integral: is one. Angelina: sappy!Integral's daughter
Annoying Special Abilities: Controlling darkness. And crap.
Other Annoying Traits: Existing.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

In which Angelina gets a flashback and sees sappy!mummy Integral....Collapse )



Yeah... uhh... what ever happened to the Alucard who killed people just because he could? It makes me sad. Stupid Sue-y clone things. D=  'Kay, I'm done. Bye.

Current Mood: cranky
Tuesday, June 21st, 2005
3:45 pm
I just need to post this. And I thought it couldn't get any worse.

I laughed and I cried because of all the OOCness.

Read and die
Sunday, April 3rd, 2005
12:51 am
New person...
Hello, I just joined, so, this is my first post, and my first Sue.

Story Or Series Title: Hannah
Fandom: Hellsing
Culprit Author's Name: CleoKat

Full Species(es): Vampire.
Hair Color (include adjectives): long midnight black hair that curled up at the breasts level, stopping at her stomach.
Eye Color (include adjectives):Red blood eyes
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Burned by a silver crucifix
Special Possessions (if any): A scent that is very sweet, like fresh blood.

Annoying Origin: Hannah is of course, the perfect beauty that Alucard falls in lust or lurve with.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Alucard is instantly drawn to her and wants her badly.
Annoying Special Abilities: Temptress, and she can hide her presence from Alucard. Always has a witty comment.
Other Annoying Traits: She knows who Alucard is, and Hellsing. She was crucified, on a silver cross, no less, and survived.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Meet Hannah!Collapse )

Current Mood: cranky
Monday, March 28th, 2005
5:55 pm
uh....heh heh.
All right, for any of you who might be members of hellsingreviews, you'll probably have already seen this. I posted it there a while ago, but I think it's probably more appropriate for this site. Yes, that's right. It's a mary-sue parody fic. It came to me at a time when I did not realize or assume that such a thing had been done before. "Ah ha!" thought, I. "I shall create a horrid mockery of these things which disgust me so, thus providing a humorous release for my boundless rage!" It was not really meant to reach public eye, yet, as things often go, I decided "what the hell," and here it is. For your presumed amusement, I present now to you:

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night!!!Collapse )

EDIT: Oh, and in case it isn't clear, this is sort of half making fun of mary-sues, and half making fun of the sorts of writers that often create them. (Hence future mispellings of things such as "Helsing" for example.) Go ahead and assume that anything awkward or annoying was definitely done on purpose, lol. ^_~
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
7:10 pm
Just joined
Hello everyone. I decided to join this community due to my extreme hatred of Mary Sues in general, but especially those in the Hellsing fandom. Anyway, I was on ff.net and found this piece of work:

Story or Series Title: Long lost cousin?
Fandom: Hellsing
Culprit Author's Name: Sailor Water Dragon

Full Name (plus titles if any): Krista Lunas Hellsing
Full Species(es): Werewolf
Hair Color (include adjectives): blonde hair
Eye Color (include adjectives): golden eyed
Unusual Markings/Colorations: she had dog ears on the top of her head.
Special Possessions (if any): sunglasses and a black beanie on her head. Xbox, Playstation 2, and Gamecube.

Annoying Origin: America
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: You guessed it, Integra's cousin
Annoying Special Abilities: Telepathy
Other Annoying Traits: Your typical "orphaned, finds out about her connections to Hellsing and is welcomed to the mansion with open arms" Sue. Tends to shriek happily at the sight of red eyes.

Read more...Collapse )
Here's a link to the fic in its entirety:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2314439/2/
Saturday, March 19th, 2005
2:10 pm
I think most of you have already read this story, but posting anyway....

Story Or Series Title:
Shattered Glass: A Child's Innocence
Culprit Author's Name:
Rose9999 and Black Kat (...Okay?!)

Full Name (plus titles if any):
Kira Negata
Full Species(es):
Hair Color (include adjectives):
long blond hair pulled into a ponytail
Eye Color (include adjectives):
teal eyes
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None
Special Possessions (if any):

Annoying Origin:
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters:
The Major's daughter (O__O" WTF?!)
Annoying Special Abilities: The power to let Doc/Rip/Zorin/The Major/Captain/EVERYONE ELSE act totally OOC
Other Annoying Traits: Supersuicidecuttingrapeangst!!1111

Read more...Collapse )
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005
1:32 pm

"The Truth will set you free... but it's found in books so Mary Sue authors are right out of luck"

In today's post, there's yet another KER-AZZY Mary Sue! Oh, make it stop! Seriously.

Side note:
I found another one called Hannah, but even though author emailed me SECONDS after I reviewed (never a good sign) they were not threatening and/or flaming me (and, gasp, did not seem to take my dislike of the OC personally). So there's hope, and I have not submitted her story. But you can find it at the Pit of Voles at 'http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2262581/1/' where it might actually be worth reviewing the author!

Still, there's plenty more Mary Sues to go around, as I shall prove right now...

There probably isn't much hope for this author. We must create a crack team of Fanfiction Commandoes to silence her and her cursed keyboard, before it's too late.

Story Or Series Title: A new enemy
Fandom: Hellsing (find it here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2268753/1/)
Culprit Author's Name: Alucard's little sister

Full Name (plus titles if any): Nightmare (funnily enough, that's a name for a Hellsing character I submitted to a Mary Sue parody at 'http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2241959/1/' designed to make the canon characters act OOC - like in this fic.)
Full Species(es): Vampire
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not described
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not described
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Not described
Special Possessions (if any): Not described

Annoying Origin: Not described... but we'll probably find out if the author does more chapters... god forbid...
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Not YET described...
Annoying Special Abilities: Appears to have super-speed. Very good at faking her own death
Other Annoying Traits: The horrifying fact that Nightmare might not be the only Mary Sue in the story... I fear there will be more...

Includes some Integra bashing! Wow, this fic has it all! And the last chapter (number five) makes no sense! I think it's supposed to be BEFORE Integra shoots herself... (I bet Integra didn't, and it's all a fiendish plot by the evil not-dead-really-honest Nightmare!)

Read more...Collapse )

Current Mood: aggravated
Friday, February 11th, 2005
9:47 am
Delving into the 'R' rated fics...

I'd like to thank everyone for participating and helping this community to grow. Now on with the show!

After the Jan Valentine 'story' posting below, I realised that something had been lacking in this community. And that would be... 'R' rated fics!

As you may know, I am very disappointed when I find a Sue story without looking. When I flicked to 'R' this story was found at the very top, the very first in the list. I am trying not to cry at just how upsettingly easy it is to find Sues. I reckon, nineteen to a Pit of Voles page. Out of twenty. *weep*

This also marks my first use of the LJ cut feature, something long overdue...

Story Or Series Title: Army of No Lives
Fandom: One with A Voyeuristic Vampire, an Ice Queen From Hell and A Sissy Bitch Called Seras... or so the fic writers seem to think...
Author's Name: Devilman666

Full Name (plus titles if any): Sieghardt
Full Species(es): Nosferatu.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Presumably black, "his hair was the same (as Alucard's) but it was longer and pulled into a ponytail."
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not described
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None mentioned
Special Possessions (if any): Dresses just like Alucard!

Annoying Origin: For the full description, you have to read it to truly get the humour of it.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Alucard's son from the future who... well you should read it.
Annoying Special Abilities: Just about everything Alucard does, but without the cool characterization
Other Annoying Traits: It's laughable just how random his appearance is. It's all laughable. It's a Sue story all right.

Read more...Collapse )

Current Mood: cynical
Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
11:30 pm
Jan Valentine - "HELP, he's been canon-raped into a Stu!!!"
Yes, sad but true - an existing Hellsing character has gotten the WORST possible thing done to them. Not content with creating a Sue/Stu and or OOCing this writer has to jump right into poor Jan and turn him into this almost unrecognizible creature. Somebody call an exorcist!!!

After reading this sorry mess, I wanted to take a shower (using Comet).

Story Or Series Title: You're Beautiful When You're Mad
Fandom: Hellsing
Culprit Author's Name: Trai Maxwell (wants people to review BUT only wants 100% positive reviews - ask mercurychaos about that - LOL!!!)

Full Name (plus titles if any): Jan Valentine
Full Species(es): vampire
Hair Color (include adjectives): Writer doesn't mention it or his trademark hat.
Eye Color (include adjectives): empty yellow eyes
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Writer makes no mention.
Special Possessions (if any): No

Annoying Origin: Writer has some sick fantasy and is making Hellsing characters play it out in public for all of us to see.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is a Hellsing character (about to rape another Hellsing character) being misused by the writer.
Annoying Special Abilities: Can turn everyone around him into wimps, deadmeat and or sextoys. Makes other Hellsing characters go totally OOC (Luke - doormat, Seras - helpless idiot)
Other Annoying Traits: Major attitude, major jadediness, total lack of feelings for others, insulting, murderous, rape-happy, sadistic, and no sense of smell.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: Oh boy, there is so much to choose from and the story is currently only one chapter!!!

Well, here's a nasty bit for you - Rapist Jan and victim Policegirl -

Read more...Collapse )

Current Mood: dirty
12:27 pm
Another Sue

Before we delve straight into todays Sue, I should like to remind everyone that I am very new to this Community lark, and so you must excuse the mistakes. I can't seem to work out how to edit my previous posts. It's not for lack of trying, I just obviously haven't tried very hard!

Now onto the Sue:

It is so sad that I found it on the first page of the Pit of Voles. I honestly thought I'd have to at least browse through some pages first. But no! This was not a hunt, or an archaeological dig: this was more throw-a-dart-at-a-random-fic-and-you're-done.

Before I begin, the author's bio was standard fare for an at least semi-decent - yet new - author. She lists her favourite things and acts very apoligetic about her fanfics (not really a very good sign I suppose). In defense, she only has one up. I'm very glad that she did not write a complex list of all her original characters. I found a delightful writer of Spongebob, Warhammer and other stuff who had a list of at least twently fan-characters the other day. Terrible.

ANYWAY! Should I play nice or not?

This fic caught my eye, like the last one, because of the summary:

Forgive Me, Father
A young girl's life is destroyed by the vampires, and now she's a bounty hunter bent on revenge, entangled in the Hellsing and Iscariot organizations.

(Does this have anything to do with the odd child-of-Walter Sue story that I read about last week? The title is similar)

Story Or Series Title: Forgive Me, Father
Fandom: The One With The German Vampires
Culprit Author's Name: Kotora-Foxfire (with a name like that, you know this fic MUST be good!)

Full Name (plus titles if any): Lucy Harker
Full Species(es): Human... or is she...?
Sue Class: Warrior Sue / Plot Stealer Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): Well, the hair colour is not described....
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None mentioned
Special Possessions (if any): Kinives, 'pirate shirt' *snicker*, blades and a nine foot long leather whip.

Annoying Origin: Some parents who die in the prologue. Thank god there wasn't a rape-subplot. *shudder*
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Paladin Alexander's partner or something... (actually, I think it's more like Best Friend)
Annoying Special Abilities: Hard-as-nails, dark tragic past etc...
Other Annoying Traits: Stupid accent that completely rips off Cross Fire

Quoty bits:

The description deserves a good quoting:
"A knife on the inside of both black leather boots, which came up to her thighs. A thin flask of holy water concealed in her purple and black embroidered corset. A silver crucifix on a chain around her neck, over the white ‘pirate shirt’ and purple neckerchief. Several blades were cloaked in the many pockets on the inside of the long black vest over her clothes. But her pride and joy, her weapon of choice when she opened up a can of righteous whoop-ass, was the nine foot long leather whip that was circled at her belt. She had delivered its barbed tip into hundreds of undead shitheads since taking up the skill.

She was only five foot six, but taller than the sexton by at least two inches, probably because her heels were so high. She still had her long braid, except she had let her bangs grow until they covered half her face, when combed to the side."

There's also the cliched, get's a paper cut and it turns out the librarian is a vampire bit.

And why?! Why, why, why - can't the Hellsing characters get a decent amount of time in the sun?

Also, and I cannot stress this enough, the accent is a complete rip-off of Heinkel from Crossfire. I don't remember her parents having that accent, so vhy does she haf it?

Oh sure, this fic isn't bad. I mean, it's not 'laugh-at-the-author' bad. It's all right. I think the author has a real talent. But I'll never understand why some people bother adding in extra characters when there's already a damn fine amount in Hellsing. Sometimes it's a necessity, I'll admit.

But why must they outshine the others? Must they REALLY be cooler than Iscariot and Hellsing's rival  'Jokers'? Or be main-main characters?

It's not like this character saved the life of Integra and was IMMEDIATELY put into Hellsing just like that (because you can get into the SAS by running errands for their commander! Didn't you know? That's how the British Armed Forces work!). But, why? Why not just write original fiction?

C'mon, if I want to write a story about a 1980s heavy metal band who play large rock concerts and hunt down demons, then I'll do that. But will I put it in Hellsing fanfiction? No. It'll go on Fictionpress, thankyouverymuch. I can think up supporting characters all by myself, without falling on a certain manga artists work (no matter how tempting it may be).

This is perhaps the best story on this community. But then again, if you consider the community...

Friday, February 4th, 2005
3:40 pm
Summary with unknown character names! You know it's a Marty Stu!

"Nathan and Alucard are gone, Seras is apathetic so what can be worse? How about dealing with demons and a hunter trained to remove them that doesnt remember his past. R&R CH4 up."

Wow, this fic's summary alone has been annoying me for a while. So here I'm posting it. I don't even have to read it to know it sucks. But I'm reading it now just so I know what I'm letting you in for.

Story Or Series Title: Reprieve: Phoenix


Fandom: The One With The Big Red Vampire In It


Culprit Author's Name: DARK-SABER1


Full Name (plus titles if any): Nathan ... possibly related to Anderson in some way.


Full Species(es): Dead human, returned as a Vampire / Angelic Pheonix Guardian of Mankind. AKA "God Stu"


Hair Color (include adjectives): ???


Eye Color (include adjectives): ???


Unusual Markings/Colorations: ???


Special Possessions (if any): Hellsing's replacement for Alucard! Or until he died. No doubt he bravely sacrificed himself for Seras.


Annoying Origin: Seras' "childhood friend and future husband."


Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Seras' true love, related to Anderson (his mentor, and possibly brother)


Annoying Special Abilities: Ability to turn Seras into a weepy love-bunny, and to return after apparently being killed at the end of the author's last story.


Other Annoying Traits: A little too kick ass... even when fighting alongside his buddy Alucard. Oh wait, Alucard isn't in this. It seems he's DEAD. For good.


Oh don't get me wrong there's plenty of good ideas. The spelling is very dodgy in places. The author seems to have trouble telling the difference between "They" "Their" "There" and "They're", and there's various little niggles that I hate. The Crossfire girls are in it too. They renounce the Vatican and go on the run together. Unforunately, I was disappointed when Nathan appears and saves the day, after beating Anderson in a fight. Yes he beat Anderson in a fight. And this author seems to have read the manga, where Anderson seems to be much more of a threat to Alucard.


My Favourite Quotes:


Copying the manga is never clever:

 “If thou presumeth to flirt with spirts, then thou shall join them...” a voice echoed from the fires scattered in the room.


What the hell is this? Fanboy code?




I can tell it's a guy who wrote this. The name DARK-SABER1 is a tip-off. I could go into a feminist rant into how all the females seem to have to rely on Nathan to save the day and appear just when he's needed. Sure Seras kills a Freak vampire before she finds Nathan, but please... they all 'need' a big strong guy to rely on to save the day at the last minute? Pffftt. And anyone, even if that's not entirely the case, let's have some originality, not just the usual "They're getting beaten but someone dramatically appears and saves the day". CLICHE!

Current Mood: irate
Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
8:01 pm
"The Nightmare" Begins
To kick off this crazy community, I thought I'd post up a Mary Sue. A bad one! Is there any other sort of Sue on the Internet?

Story Or Series Title: The Nightmare
Fandom: Hellsing (I wish I was a little more witty)
Culprit Author's Name: NightmareSelene (surprise surprise!)

Full Name (plus titles if any): Sunthyre Anderson of the Assamite Vampire clan, aka Akumu 'The Nightmare' Anderson

Full Species(es): Half-vampire half-human

Hair Color (include adjectives): Black

Eye Color (include adjectives): 'Crimson... covered by red-lensed sunglasses, making her pupils seem to disappear'

Unusual Markings/Colorations: None, although her shirt has 'a black flame on the chest'

Special Possessions (if any): I'm sure she has some, but it's been a while since I've read it. I'd like to keep it that way.

Annoying Origin: Love-child of Alexander Anderson (!) produced during a vampire gang-bang (!!) when he was in his rebellious teens (!!!)

Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: The very tired Child-of-the-Original storyline

Annoying Special Abilities: To massage the authors ego whilst annoying the readers at the same time

Other Annoying Traits: All of Andersons abilities, the ability to 'withstand sunlight' (even though a lot of vampires can do that in Hellsing) because she is 'a regenerator'. Super vampire speed, strength and abilities. She impresses Alucard.

It's only two chapters. It seems the author decided to spare us and left it at that.

You can find the story at: "http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2204243/1/"

My Favourite Quotes:

The Description:

“You may want to cut the insults while in our territory. All we’re interested in is the information you claim to have about Iscariot.” The tall vampire replied in an intimidating, low voice, though the girl did not react. Integra looked her over thoroughly. She seemed to be in her late teens, wearing black, chain-strung pants, black combat boots, a red shirt sporting a black flame on the chest and a long, black trench coat. Her black hair cascaded down to her waist, and her crimson eyes were covered by red-lensed sunglasses, making her pupils seem to disappear. In Integra’s opinion, she looked like a rebellious gothic teenager who couldn’t possibly help them in any way other than naming her favorite hard-core rock bands.

Let's Act Arrogant Around Integra:

“Oh, yes, and if you act now, I may consider offering my services full-time.”

(OHH, you're just the hottest thing on two legs aren't you dearie?)

Super Special Ability! Or so the author thinks:

“Get this girl a room...” Integra stared pointedly at Akumu. “I assume you cannot exist in sunlight.”

“Actually, I am primarily nocturnal, but sunlight doesn’t effect me as it would other Vampires because I am a regenerator.” Akumu replied, getting up from her seat.

“Very well, then get her a nice room, with a view, Walter.” Integra ordered, at which the butler bowed and escorted Akumu out of the room. “Welcome to Hellsing, agent Zacroix” (Zacroix - her super special codename)

“A Vampire Regenerator? What is this world coming to?” Alucard muttered, standing up.

The Author Displays Her Cleverness... Hahaha...

“Ah, so I see you have discovered my name’s true meaning. Akumu’s not my real name. My vampiric mother named me Sunthyre of the Assamite Vampire clan...but I didn’t take to it very well. While hiding in Japan, I gained ‘Akumu’ as a sort of nickname, but then again, I suppose your name is a mystery as well.” The girl said, sticking a DVD into the laptop and clicking ‘record’. (NS: In case you didn’t know, Alucard is Dracula backwards, and don’t feel stupid for not realizing it, it took me a whole 3 minutes after hearing Alucard say the, “Well, my name’s a bit of an enigma as well...” line.)
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