Zimon (zimon66) wrote in hellsing_sues,

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Jan Valentine - "HELP, he's been canon-raped into a Stu!!!"

Yes, sad but true - an existing Hellsing character has gotten the WORST possible thing done to them. Not content with creating a Sue/Stu and or OOCing this writer has to jump right into poor Jan and turn him into this almost unrecognizible creature. Somebody call an exorcist!!!

After reading this sorry mess, I wanted to take a shower (using Comet).

Story Or Series Title: You're Beautiful When You're Mad
Fandom: Hellsing
Culprit Author's Name: Trai Maxwell (wants people to review BUT only wants 100% positive reviews - ask mercurychaos about that - LOL!!!)

Full Name (plus titles if any): Jan Valentine
Full Species(es): vampire
Hair Color (include adjectives): Writer doesn't mention it or his trademark hat.
Eye Color (include adjectives): empty yellow eyes
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Writer makes no mention.
Special Possessions (if any): No

Annoying Origin: Writer has some sick fantasy and is making Hellsing characters play it out in public for all of us to see.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is a Hellsing character (about to rape another Hellsing character) being misused by the writer.
Annoying Special Abilities: Can turn everyone around him into wimps, deadmeat and or sextoys. Makes other Hellsing characters go totally OOC (Luke - doormat, Seras - helpless idiot)
Other Annoying Traits: Major attitude, major jadediness, total lack of feelings for others, insulting, murderous, rape-happy, sadistic, and no sense of smell.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: Oh boy, there is so much to choose from and the story is currently only one chapter!!!

Well, here's a nasty bit for you - Rapist Jan and victim Policegirl -

“Does it hurt? Do you want to scream? Gods yes, this hurts to read and I do want to scream at the horrible plot idea Do you want to prey to god for me to stop?” Maybe praying for a beta-reader might be a better idea he pressed his erection hard against her belly and she made whimpering sounds under her tears.

This cant be happening! Things like this don’t just ‘happen’! Where is a cop when you need one! She suddenly remembered that she was a cop in training and it kind of ruined her wish. Guess we're all not suppose to question about why Seras doesn't know ANY self-defense and yet she's in police training Her thoughts were destroyed as her skirt was being torn into pieces. “HEY! WAIT!”

He laughed at her request. “Why the fuck should I?”
So we can take a break to retch

A slight blush ran across her face as she looked painfully into his eyes. “B-Because! I’m…I haven’t…. I’m a virgin!” Well isn't this a clever canon-based plot-twist *rolls eyes*

Oh this was too much! Yes, it is He couldn’t be happier! I couldn't be more nauseated at this sad fanfic attempt She would be in so much pain! So is my poor brain She would be screaming! Pleaing for him to stop with all she had. This was going to be a very good night indeed. *upchucks cookies*
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