Moo (lord_sponge) wrote in hellsing_sues,

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Summary with unknown character names! You know it's a Marty Stu!

"Nathan and Alucard are gone, Seras is apathetic so what can be worse? How about dealing with demons and a hunter trained to remove them that doesnt remember his past. R&R CH4 up."

Wow, this fic's summary alone has been annoying me for a while. So here I'm posting it. I don't even have to read it to know it sucks. But I'm reading it now just so I know what I'm letting you in for.

Story Or Series Title: Reprieve: Phoenix


Fandom: The One With The Big Red Vampire In It


Culprit Author's Name: DARK-SABER1


Full Name (plus titles if any): Nathan ... possibly related to Anderson in some way.


Full Species(es): Dead human, returned as a Vampire / Angelic Pheonix Guardian of Mankind. AKA "God Stu"


Hair Color (include adjectives): ???


Eye Color (include adjectives): ???


Unusual Markings/Colorations: ???


Special Possessions (if any): Hellsing's replacement for Alucard! Or until he died. No doubt he bravely sacrificed himself for Seras.


Annoying Origin: Seras' "childhood friend and future husband."


Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Seras' true love, related to Anderson (his mentor, and possibly brother)


Annoying Special Abilities: Ability to turn Seras into a weepy love-bunny, and to return after apparently being killed at the end of the author's last story.


Other Annoying Traits: A little too kick ass... even when fighting alongside his buddy Alucard. Oh wait, Alucard isn't in this. It seems he's DEAD. For good.


Oh don't get me wrong there's plenty of good ideas. The spelling is very dodgy in places. The author seems to have trouble telling the difference between "They" "Their" "There" and "They're", and there's various little niggles that I hate. The Crossfire girls are in it too. They renounce the Vatican and go on the run together. Unforunately, I was disappointed when Nathan appears and saves the day, after beating Anderson in a fight. Yes he beat Anderson in a fight. And this author seems to have read the manga, where Anderson seems to be much more of a threat to Alucard.


My Favourite Quotes:


Copying the manga is never clever:

 “If thou presumeth to flirt with spirts, then thou shall join them...” a voice echoed from the fires scattered in the room.


What the hell is this? Fanboy code?




I can tell it's a guy who wrote this. The name DARK-SABER1 is a tip-off. I could go into a feminist rant into how all the females seem to have to rely on Nathan to save the day and appear just when he's needed. Sure Seras kills a Freak vampire before she finds Nathan, but please... they all 'need' a big strong guy to rely on to save the day at the last minute? Pffftt. And anyone, even if that's not entirely the case, let's have some originality, not just the usual "They're getting beaten but someone dramatically appears and saves the day". CLICHE!

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